| tap on my window knock on my door i wanna make you feel beautiful |
[18 Aug 2004|07:21pm] |
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she will be loved-maroon 5 |
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i FINALLY got my computor back! it was gettin fixed for a little more than a week! damn i was fuckin bored! it was gettin fixed cause i could never go to any websites without the whole computor freezin up, which is why i haven't written in this thing for months. anyway...im pretty bored my mom and rick are about to go out dancin so im stuck home. i really don't get the point of these stupid journals, i don't even know why i'm writin in this one..guess im jus that FUCKIN BORED!!! oh yea i got my schedule so if anyone has any of these classes lemme know
1 conversation on race
2 cp spanish- ferguson
3 free
4 cp bio- marcucilli
5 gym strait
6 free
7 cp english- marks
8 int math 11A- pickering
I AM SO PISSED THAT I HAVE FERGUSON!! i fuckin hate that bitch sooo much! i wanted to kill her durin softball and now im stuck with her? hell no! if i get stuck stayin with her im gunna go NUTS! ah i hate that bitch and her fuckin hairy fat legs!
okay well im gunna go peace
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| its court<3 |
[03 Jun 2004|10:18pm] |
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hello ms.reymond...how are you today?! i love you so fucking much..ur my fucking sister for like fucking ever and i dont know what i'd do without you..mhmm maybe get fatter? lol u crunch-a-holic!!...u are my dr.phil and i love you<3 i cant wait till you come up! hopefully i'l be able to come up next weekend..i love you<3
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| NO PANTIES NO BRA!!!!!! |
[28 May 2004|10:49pm] |
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HEYYY GUYSSS!!!!!!! wow tonight was so much fun!! me and katie and alycia all went to lowes and megan was there with mande and so people, GOLDEN WAYYYY!!!!! DORK!!!! FUCKIN CHINKS AND THEIR GLASSES AND HATS!!! they weren't very friendly..ah it was so fun! we met this really cool kids matt and dave! they're fuckin awesome!!!! lol after physical party! we deff gotta hang out all together!!! NEWTOWWNNNN!!! REPRESENT AT LOWES TONIGHT!! so many...ohh boyyy! OOOHHH BOOYYY!!!!!!
STRANGERS!!!! the illest gang reppin the 203!!! hollaaa!! lol it consists of sketch(katie) speedy(me).....goon(alycia)...our motto is NO PANTIES NO BRAAA NO PANTIES NO BRAA!!!! song is STRANGER!!! so whenever you hear this...you will feel the fear of the gang STRANGERSS!!!! AHHH!!!
okay well chow
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| i close my eyes i let the whole world pass me by....ill run away with you |
[26 May 2004|04:54pm] |
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heyyy guys! wow today was a pretty fun day, nothing too great really happend but nothin bad happend either..nothin to really get into anyway. science was so funny with jennie, omg tryin to do that fuckin lab, askin us what to put on the cup and then puttin like stirs on it..wow we're fuckin retarded..lol or um my really cool map for science! yeah i deff got like a 2 on that thank god you were gradin it jennie lol! a fuckin 2 year old could have done better than me THAT FUCKIN GLUE! i told that bitch i wanted scotch tape lol..
after school was pretty sweet, i saw my mom and then she took me to the gym for about an hour and 45 minutes met up with katie! now i i jus have to do some fuckin essay for english!! wow this will be so much funn!!!!! YEAH GUYS YEAAHHH!!!!! all about readin!! oh boyy oh boyy!! im excited!!! NOT!! okay well TOODLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| And then, when the cold wind from the north blows, all life is gone in a flash as all shadows fade.. |
[22 May 2004|02:29pm] |
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heyy guys!! omg last night was so much fun! i went to prom with anthony! he got king of court! ah i was so happy for him! lol It was so pretty there and the limo ride was really fun...i felt so awkard there though cause i didn't really know too many people..oh well it was still really fun!
i dont really know what im doin today...im kinda boredd!! i gotta babysit tonight..mmm this should be LOADS of funn!! im probably just gunna do my essay and study and play with CILLAA!! omg i love cilla! shes the cutest lil golden ever!!! lol if anyone wants to see a pic IM ME!!! shes gorgeous!..i sound so obsessive
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| die young |
[18 May 2004|06:59pm] |
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DROP DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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i dont think i rememeber the last time i was this fuckin pissed...its like big fuckin ball of fire inside of me jus burnin up i feel like im about to fuckin explode!!! wow im so fuckin pissed i want to just fuckin beat the shit outta someone or something!!! i finally went crazy on my mom...im pretty sure she knows im right considerin she jus kinda shut up and wouldn't say anything when i finished screaming.i swear to god if anythin fuckin happens in school tomorrow im gunna flip the fuck out on anyone i hate my fuckin life im jus startin to get more fed up every god damn dayy!!!! im sick of holding everything in the fuck side of me!!! im sick of so much fuckin shit i can't fuckin stand all this fuckin crap!!! i think my mom doesn't even fuckin care its all about her and rick once the fuckin again OH NO NO NO WE CAN'T WE HAVE THE FUCKIN MOTORCYCLE!!! FUCK YOU MOM!!!!!! jesus christ i try fuckin telling her i need something cause i dont have fuckin shit and she's like well you have me...well guess what mom no i dont! i dont fuckin have you i lost you to goddamn rick i lost my fuckin brother to goddamn fuckin dad and his fuckin parents so yeaa what does that fuckin leave me with mom!?!??! NOTHING!!!!!! i have a few fuckin friends oh wow cause im allowed to even go out and have a life half the time...oh yeah i do have fuckin austin on the weekends...YEAAAAHHHH AND I GET FUCKING SHIT FOR FUCKIN DOIN THAT!!! holy shit wow PISSED OFF i jus wanna do somethin to piss her the fuck off!!!!!!!! KLJGDFKTHSDLKHTFLK;SD fuck off!!!
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| my mind slowing my body were inseperable |
[16 May 2004|08:03pm] |
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heyy guys! omg for all you yorktown and mahopac people DONT EAT THE FUCKIN PIZZA AT THE JV MALL!! damn i ate that shit at like 3 and my stomach killss!!
court i miss you already! this weekend was so fuckin fun!! friday...gettin bit by bugs cause of the goddamn woods!! ha you had so many on your back!..sorry bout that! lol saw mike finally!! mike i miss you!! it's only been like 2 years!! then sat walkin around for 3 hours tryin to find a goddamn dress at the palisades mall and all we went home with was some stolen coasters and my really cool hat! lol and fuck you courtney it doesn't look like a 70 year old hat!..i happy to like it!!!!!! and ah the fair was so much! seein everyone was so nice! kaela dayna britt kristen chris ricky tom!! miss ya guys..even though i jus met you ricky you're awesome and you're NOT gettin your necklace back!!!!lol mann i haven't seen you guys in forever..we really need to hang out and SOON!!! wow i loved how we weren't allowed back onto the ferris wheel..FUCKIN COURTNEY AND LAUREN!! lol OMG NO STOP ROCKIN IT!! YOU GUYS STOP STOP!! STOP THIS THING!! haha that was so great!! or that fuckin nigga who was about to call security on me...mmm greaattt!!! well i showed him by steelin his hatt!! lol omg i miss you!! you better not move cause im gunna be so upset if you do you're like my fuckin sister!!! i love youu so much!!! we still need to get our rings =)
Craig- YOU SUCK!! i didn't see you once this weekend =( i hate you! you couldn't get a ride!! oh well i still love you!! atleast we had that nice phone convo!..even though you were drunk!! omg you got me all excited when you bleeped me and was like "i see you im at the ferris wheel" i was so excited cause i was like right near the ferris wheel lol i love ya though! i miss you so much! one of these days im gunna come up and spend the whole day with you omg i can't wait! lol
OMG EVERYONE!! LAURA MADE MARKETTES!!! dude i knew i felt a connection!! lol i love you! im so glad you made it..first you freaked me out a lil with your "um" i was like there's no fuckin way she didn't make it!!! ah im so happy for you babee i love you so fuckin much you deserve this!!!
wow i really dont want to go to school tomorrow, im so sick of it-ok at first it was cute when we all started goin in kindergarten but there's only so much people can handle like its jus pissin me off now!! i have fuckin math homework that i can't do cause i was a dumbass and decided to skip..i have to memorize a goddamn spanish oral that i really dont want to cause im so fuckin sick of spanish!! then i have to finish go ask alice...i actually like this book though so that might not be too bad but yeaaah!!! okay byeeeeee im sick of typing! lol
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| im hangin by a moment here with you |
[11 May 2004|08:57pm] |
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heyy guys! today was a pretty good dayy! first started off a lil pissed off but then the day got a lot better...there was this pretty sweet health fair in school..it was pretty fun..the drunk goggles! lol i couldn't do that line if my life depended on it but eric got it like on his first try lol..bastard! after school we had softball practice..that was alright except that it was well 90 outside!! but we ended early..that was good. then while i was waiting for my mom to come in to pick me up, these kids were from new fairfeild were walkin in the school saying "how nice the school was" so i kinda glided, slid the trashcan at them and was like oops it slipped sorry...it was funny lol. After that iwent to get my dress for prom altered! the straps were too big and then me and my mom went to dinner and then to the gym! it was good, today was a pretty swell dayyy!! HEY COURT 3 MORE FUCKIN DAYYYSSSS!!! you little butt nut..lol adam okay well it's like 10 right now so im gunna go and read Go Ask Alice for english.. cause yeah im cool like that sooo uh PEACE OUT!!
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| how i wish this could be real |
[10 May 2004|07:34am] |
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heyyy guyss! today was alright..school sucked as usual..i did so bad on my modern euro essay..i didn't even get a grade back but thats okay cause she's lettin us re-do it until we hit b-. Later on we had a softball game..the fuckin prick stopped us soon as we tied with the other team the ump was like Umm we need to stop at 515 i mean come the fuck on we only needed one more to fuckin win so yeah if anyone asks...we won..go newtown yeaahh! ah then after my mom let me rent a movie... i got fear of the dark or some shit..i dunno..looks good though. Today was markett tryouts!! im prayin that laura made it! she better have she's like one of the best dancers i know and if she doesn't make it ill be really pissed off!! lol love you laur!...COURT 4 MORE DAYS!! i think..kinda 3 but yeahh! lol i can't wait to see everyone! court we gotta get our engangement rings for eachother at charlotte rouse ha big diamond ring for you..we're so gay lol i love ya though!!
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| used to play love like it was just a game pretending 2 feel the same then turn around nd leave again |
[09 May 2004|02:02pm] |
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heyy happy mother's day..even though non of you are moms..lol Today's goin pretty good, i took my mom out to breakfast this mornin at steven's diner, and then we went shopping together. That was a lot of fun.I think ive talked her into lettin me get my nose pierced, she's leanin more towards a yes now! =) On the way home my mom was doin a lot of complainin about rick and austin, she was askin me if she should get a divorce. I dont really like rick but i know my mom would be unhappy if she wasn't with him so i told her things would work out. She thinks Austin is becoming a problem..he kinda is, shes jus not up to having a 7year old around and she thinks he's starting to interfere. We did alot of talking on the way home, we started talking a lot about rick, austin, and my dad about his whore. I asked her if he even likes her, i dont even know if he does sometimes. She said she thinks so but at the same time she knows he doesn't want to be alone and that he might just be staying with her because its the perfect setup, she cleans and cooks and goes scuba diving and is a fuckin whore. We're convinced she's only after him for his money, cuase well he's really not anythin special, and along with him she gets his whole fuckin family...so god bless. Anyway, im goin to Tj Maxx with my brother soon, i think i dont know if im still going to cause i think he's planning on going tanning and shit also and i dont feel like waiting for him then later tonight we're all going to my place for dinner.
Yeah i was bored and courtney told me to do this so yeahh..lol
+what time is it? 843
+what is the date? May 8th, 2004
+your name? nicole
+dob? 6.26.89
+do you remember birthdays? some
+are you claustrophobic? yeah
+do you like where you live? not really..its boring
+where would you like to live? nyc
+what was your hair like when you where 9? really long blondish brownish
+what is it like now? blond straight kinda long
+do you drink coffee? yeah
+dragons or dinosaurs? dragons
+how old will you been when you graduate? 18 or 17 one of those
+do you write in cursive or print? print
+are you in a relationship? sure
+would you prefer to go ice skating, or roller skating? ice skating i suppose
+do you like your body? its ok i guess
+do you like animals? yesss..
+if you got un-expectively pregnant what would you do? take a pill
+do you like 2003 more than 2004? 2003
+do you know how to play poker? yeaa
+would you give up the internet for money? how much?
+do you like your self, or believe in your self? NO
+what is your favorite type of fabric? umm..silk? i dont fuckin know
+do you put ketchup all over your French fries, or dip it? i HATE ketchup
+if you where given 5 million dollars right now, what would be the first 10 things you would buy?
(1) clothes
(2) car
(3) new house
(4) a hitman
(5) a golden retriever dog!
(6) a cat
(7) a diamond ring for courtney...lol
(8) shit for my friends
(9)
(10)
i really can't think of anything i want that could be bought so i dont know..
+what kind of watch do you wear? i don't wear one
+are you a sore loser? no i dont care
+if you dislike a person, how do you show it? im not nice to them
+where do you want to go? newyork!
+do you own any comic books? a few
+what color are you nails? pink
+how much do you weight? somewhere between 115 and 120
+how old where you when you got into your first fight? a physical fight? 3rd grade but jus a stupid pointless fight umm probably 1st grade
+how do you sleep? i sleep on either my back or side downstairs on a couch
+what is your fav. Physical feature on the opposite sex? arms and stomache..
+what do you think about when your in the shower? being clean?
+who is someone over 30 you find attractive? no one im fuckin 14 i dont check out damn 30 year olds
+are you healthy? yeah
+what would you do if you got a call from a doctor saying you had aids? id like kill myself
+when was the last time you danced? uhhh a couple weeks ago
+have you ever prank called the police? yeah but i didn't mean to
+do you steal? sometimes not really..not from my friends or anythin
+name 5 unordinary physical things about you:
(1) i have a scar on my stomache and a small one on my back
(2) my middle finger curves to the right
(3)i have to lil marks that look like this : on my arm
(4) i can't handle it when people stare at me or i freak out
(5) my knees suck?
+what are in your dresser draws? clothes?? yes clothes..
+give your self a porn star name: crystal chandelier...yess
+name your 5 fav. shows?
(1) passions
(2) room raiders
(3) made
(4) house of mouse
(5) recess
+what are you thinking about? nothin im talkin to courtney on the phone right now so im jus talkin to her
+do you have any tattoos? no but i REALLY want some
+name 5 things you find attractive:
(1) nicee body
(2) good sense of humor.
(3) out going
(4) smile.
(5) different..tattoss and piercings and a badass
+name 5 things you find unattractive:
(1) lying
(2) cheating
(3) clingy
(4) concieted
(5) bein a fuckin asshole to me...
+name 5 things around you right now:
(1) an annoyin 7 year old
(2) phone
(3) computor lol
(4) ceramic rabbit
(5) water bottle
+name 5 things people tell you a lot:
(1) you're weird
(2) you're a bitch
(3) i love you
(4) you look like you're on drugs
(5) you're racist
+do you have any siblings? a brother
+what was the last thing you bought? umm earings
+can you vote? no
+have you ever had a song written about you? yeah
+spell your name with some of your fav. things:
Niggers
Igloo
Chinks
Olives
Lizards
Elephants
+do you play any instruments? no
+are you ticklish? mhmm
+is your belly button innie or outtie? innie.
+how often do you lie? never im perfect
+do you get motion sickness? oh sometimes
+does your stomach get upset by gore or blood? no
+name 5 habits of yours:
(1) being a bitch
(2) procrastination--or however you spell it
(3) swearing
(4) makin fun of people for no reason
(5) sayin the word nigger
+brag about somting: im black and you're not
+what are you doing tomorrow? its mothers day..something with my mother
+what is a fantasy of yours? ill never tell
+do you have a cell phone? yeaa
+who is your fav. person to hug? anthony
+what is your middle name? lorraine
+name 5 things you wish for right now:
(1) to see courtney
(2) to move out of my house and go to ny
(3) to not be babysitting
(4) to get some money
(5) finish up hs...like now
+does love really make the world go round? love?? yeaahhh..right no such thing..
+what time is it now? 9 29
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| give me a project bitch give me a hood rat chick one that dont give a fuck |
[08 May 2004|07:09am] |
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get out [LEAVE]-jo jo |
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heyy guys! im on the phone with courtzz right now! damn 6 more days i can't fuckin wait!!! tonight's gunna be awesome!! IM BABYSITTIN!! HELL YEAAAA!! I CAN'T FUCKIN WAIT!!..not lol..tomorrow's mother's dayy!! i got my mom this elvis bag! she's like obsessed with elvis so i saw it and was like okaayy yeah im gunna get her this! anway, yeah courtney is being so mean to me she keeps yelling at me cause shes GAYYY lol jk i love you courtneyy! ONE MORE HOUR then im babysitting yes score its gunna suck im gunna be home alone with a 7year old so if anyone wants to come over..CALL ME!! i dont care who you are jus get to my house lol i hate babysitting..i dont know if you've noticed or not. so while my mom and rick are out havin a blast dancin away ill be with RICK'S SON FUN SHIT RIGHHTT?!? yeah i know..rick's retardedddddd!!
yeah people call me tonight! 1203 364 1174/1203 648 5328 or bleep me 174*131513*25 PLEASEEEEE save me from this kid lol
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| you think you can kick my ass? no one can kick my ass better than i can-HARDBALL |
[07 May 2004|10:07am] |
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heyy guys, i jus got in from seein Da BaNd with anthony! it was fun, thanks it really put me in a good mood! MWAAA!
today was an alright day, it started out so fuckin shitty though! slept in, second period was alright, english SUCKED i started to get a fuckin random fever and i was gettin so mad in that class i dont even know why, then in ss that was pretty fun we did a debate, i was gettin kinda mad cuase not everyone was agreeing with me, yeah that happens in debates lol after that my mom picked me up and we went to lunch and to target!! it was pretty fun actually i liked being with just her for once. After that i had a softball game wow i got so fuckin pissed durin that. My coach i swear to god i will come after her with a bat. she gets me so madd im gunna throw a ball at her one of these days and then jus hit her non stop and laugh my ass off when she cries...wow thats not sick or anything, the good thing though is we won! well i think we did anyway, i left the last inning cause they were making it longer for some reason...then when i get home i was like bitching about everything to my mom cause she had rick and austin to come to my and it jus pissed me off cuase its my game and it jus turns into a rick and lorraine event then and well FUCK OFF RICK yeah so while i was bitching my mom was like " you should really go back to the therapist so you can get some medication" she thinks ive been way to angry lately...well that jus sucks now doesn't it. oh it was so fun today, for softball since we had a game we all dressed in a short skirt, sliding shorts, softball socks, flip flops and black top lol it was cute, jenn and ashley's idea! lol..wanna know whats really cool? 7 YEAR OLDS!! yeah i love how there's one in my downstairs right now and i really wanna watch a fuckin movie and go on the tredmill but yeahh thats not gunna happen!! god i can't stand it when this kid is here..yeah he's nice but gggeeeeezee you're annoying...guess im jus not a kid person i dont even think it's that im jus fed up with this whole marriage and then whenever he's here i always have to babysit one night so my mom and fuckin rick can go out and have fun meanwhile im the fuckin teenagerr MMMM FUNNNN!!! yeaaah well im off byeeee lovelys!
COURTNEY!! 7 MORE MUTHA FUCKA DAAYYYSSSS!!!!!!
::SwInG:: i think tommy knows what im talkin about...lol jk
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| FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[06 May 2004|09:08am] |
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hey..BLAAAHHHH today suckedd! pretty boring day at school nothin really happend, bad mood most the day even argued with a few teachers..yeah that was fun...mmm. after school i had softball practice, that was pretty nice, it was a nice day out for it, after that i went to the mall with my mom, it was okay i guess, she's convinced i hate her, we even got in a few fights. I'm not really talking to her, again. She gets me so mad sometimes-im not even allowed to by myself its like i have to live in her generation and be a younger version of her..im so sick of her bullshit. Another thing that is pissing me off is how i keep getting judged my freakin brother and dad. My brother is a fuckin tattle tale he will tell my dad everything and then my dad believe it or not, calls in and pretends to be my dad like hes always been there for me. He has no buisness in my life and the only time he actually acts like a dad is to yell at me or um send me to therapy, yeah thats been a popular one with him for a few years now. I love how jus cause i dont like him he thinks i need a shrink, all of them even agree with me, he doesn't know how to be a dad and he's self centered, well as soon as he hears that its out with them. He's so blind, he never should have had kids. I dont get him he even said he doesnt want kids he said so him self "i dont know why we ever had kids they're useless" and he wonders why no one likes him...gaynesss!! the thing that really hurts the most is he treats that whores daughter's better than he ever treated me.When i'd go to his apt there would be one picture of me maybe and the rest are of his bitch and her daughter's EVERYWHERE and even at his office...even when we were a family he never had that many of me anywhere i dunno maybe im thinkin too into it it jus gets to me. So let's see, my dad has his bitch and the daughter's, my mom has rick-my brother is..i dont even know with him. I feel close to him alot but then again he's two faced sometimes. I will over hear him and my mom talking about me sometimes and it pisses me off and i also know he talks about me alot to my dad, and to his grandparents. im so sick of my family's bullshit. None of this would have happend if that fuckin whore would keep to her own god damn family instead of sluttin herself around to unavailable men. i swear to god if i ever had her alone with me i would destroy her i hate what she fuckin did to our family, even though we weren't the happiest bunch together, still there never should have been a divorce. I HATE HERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I HATE HIMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy shittt okay well im probably pissing everyone off right now cause all i have been doing is bitching a bout all of this shit...so sorry everyone...but im out byee
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| I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself is life worth living should I blast myself? |
[05 May 2004|06:46am] |
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Freedom ain't gettin no closer...[locked up] |
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heyy guys, i had a softball game today, we lost =( oh well who cares anyway..turns out i really had softball practice yesterday...damn coach never put it on the board so i left...mmmmm...im convinced the coach hates me. She yelled at me for steeling when we were loosing by 6 and had either one or two outs anyway and it was the last inning...there was no way we were gunna win and its not like she gives us signs to steel anyway...fuckin jackass. Wow i got so pissed at the game...fuckin rick shows up i mean i guess it was nice but he just gets on my nerves, i mean he could be standing there doing absolutly nothing and i would still get really pissed, i guess i was jus really mad that he came and my mom came like an hour after him. Now tonight they are going out..yess house to myself THANK GOD!! and yeah my brother is out with my dad having dinner, gee i wonder why i wasn't invited..yeah lovely. Anyway, courtney we got 9 more days! damn i can't fuckin wait..what has it been? a month? lol i can't wait til i come up! we can go to tommy's with a bat finally..i think he's waited long enough. i wish we could hang out this weekend...but yeah have rick's son to babysit. i can't stand that i have no fuckin life when he's here. my mom makes me babysit him jus for her convinence so she can go out and have fun with god damn rick. this jus pisses me off cause i mean maybe i want to have a fuckin life sometimes after all i am the fuckin teenager, she had her time when she was younger now its my turn. Another thing that is starting to bother me about her and rick is me and her use to be so fuckin close and we use to have inside jokes, i know this sounds gay but we were actualy good friends before he came along. now they both use those fuckin inside jokes and he has to coment on every fuckin thing like hes mr wonderful. wow ijus wanna hit him with a fuckin bat sometimes. I mean, dont get me wrong im glad my mom is happy, she deserves it from all the shit shes gone threw with my dad and shit, but its just not how i wanted things to be. I probably sound so selfish right now but i can't help it, i jus want shit back to how it was either with a whole real family in yorktown or just life with me and my mom again when things were better. wow im startin to get in a really bad mood again...i hate this shit..im out byee
Maybe blood isn't thicker than water?
Or maybe not in your eyes, or could it be my eyes are decieving me?
Lost hope, broken smiles all because of this untouchable river that lies between
And if i swim, will my lifegaurd be there to save me?
Or is this just anohter lost hope?
Am i in for more broken smiles?
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| we could leave this town and run forever... |
[04 May 2004|04:05am] |
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heyy guys...yeah i jus got home from school, softball practice was cancled =( anthony gave me a ride home thanks hun..today was another lousy day. My mom's starting to get mad at me cause i've been "ignoring her and giving her attitude and i won't talk to her" oh and then she was getting mad at me cause i "dont like rick anymore" and i've been "giving him too much attitude" meanwhile i barely say 2 words to the guy...maybe thats why she's mad. Hey it's not like i asked him to marry my mom. He's not my real dad and if that's what he's aimin for w/e..all he is to me is the dude that married my mom. i dunno shit is just getting really gay and there's just too much shit to really put up with. lately things have been getting to be so bad i dont even feel iike myself, i really dont know what to do anymore i just feel like my life is falling apart and things just keep on getting worse each day. I find myself just crying and having random mood swings for no reason at all sometimes, i dont know what to do anymore. One of the things im starting to get really sick of is change, i just can't take it anymore there's been too much to handle in the last well 6 years. anyway..enough of that..in like 2 hours im gettin my hair done...yay..i guess..court..10 more days! i can't wait to see you im going crazy around here i miss you so much! wow im so fuckin sick of shit!! i just want to talk to someone so bad about all this shit but i feel like no one cares. it's like people say they care but they really could give two shits...they just want to be polite by listenin to all your bullshit. and then when i try to talk to a family member i get yelled at or they just mess with my mind...its like i dont even have a mind of my own...i've been so confused on if it's something i think or someone else. i dont know how i feel...i feel like i have to keep all my feelings forced in so no one yells at me. i jus need out of this...im out though bye
P.S.
sam im still really sorry
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| LeT iT bUrN... |
[03 May 2004|08:36am] |
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hey guys yeah i got one of these gay lil journals cause courtney set one up for me cause she has a lot of time on her hands yeah i dunno..well yeah today sucked i stayed home from school kinda boring...pissed off mood...as usual. Yeah anyway, im in this gay fight with sam and sam if you're reading this IM SORRY and I LOVE YOU i dont want to fight with you cause this is a really retarded fight...hmm yea..im on the phone with courtney right now a.k.a GOTHIC WHALE..lol pretty retarded hey court we have another countdown! 11 days HELL YEAA!!!okay well im out assholes...BYEEE
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| its fatty =) |
[02 May 2004|03:49am] |
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hey nikki! its court...ya you really need to learn how to update your live journal!! i love you so much!! im always here for you!! yorktown rules :) hehe bye bye!!
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| nicole nicole nicole!!! |
[26 Apr 2004|08:46pm] |
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hey love <3 its jana heres your momo journal just seeeing how it looksss homie<33
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